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Saturday, May 10, 2003  

Lots of ways to spend millions

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo has an excellent suggestion for how Bill Bennett could have usefully spent the millions he virtually flushed down the toilets at various casinos.

. . .he could have clicked paypal on 8 million blogs.

Skippy, who doesn't believe in using capital letters, points out the L.A. Times has a list of better ways Bennett could've parted with the bling-bling.

•wagered on funny cide in the kentucky derby and won $110,400,000.

•bought 2.3 million boxes of thin mints cookies from the girl scouts.

•picked up the tab for bill and hillary clinton's remaining legal fees (just to show there are no hard feelings) and still had $6.25 million to cover therapy for chelsea.

•bought tickets to disneyland for 216,000 children ages 3-9.

•sponsored 25,640 impoverished children for a year (providing clean water, schooling, food and health care) through world vision.

•erased the l.a. archdiocese's $4.3-million budget shortfall and the diocese of orange's $2 million in cutbacks and still had $1.7 million in pocket change.

•paid the bicycle casino's tax bill to the city of bell gardens for one year.

•paid dodger pitcher andy ashby's salary for the 2003 season (probably not a wise investment).

•distributed 266,667 free copies of "the book of virtues" at full retail value (or 380,952 copies at amazon.com's discount price).

I'm neither religious nor a philosopher, but I don't believe it is possible to waste money and be virtuous.

4:53 PM